Helen ~ Heynen

Ever feel as though you’re not wearing any pants and you keep looking down just to make sure? I realize that this only happens to me. I don’t know why I even ask anymore.

After speaking to a few other (somewhat normal…I guess) people, I’ve realized I’m not the only one who is a multi-store shopper. Number of grocery stores I visited today: 3, maybe 4 if you consider church to be one since I ate the equivalent of six loaves of bread in communion wafers. When I was asked to share I yelled, “Back off, I’m starving!!!” like Chris Farley in that one skit where he’s eating fries w/ Adam Sandler and David Spade where they’re all women. Haha! “Yeah, when they were passing out brains, you thought they said “trains” and then you got on and went for a ride.” Oh, Farley was the best!............ Oh, and I didn’t go to church.


Anyways…onto the coconuts. I was at Zehrs awhile back and was getting some coconut juice. I was wondering how it was made (me=not smart) since, you know, coconut oil, milk, flakes, etc. were all so different nutrition-wise. I just never thought about the coconut water before, as I am fairly new to being a “user.” So this lady asked if I needed any help, I asked her about it, then she didn’t know so she called this other guy over who she claimed “knew about it.” Okay. so, buddy comes over and he knew absolutely nothing about how it was made or anything other than the fact that he tried it one time. This was their coconut guy?

So.......I did a little researchy search.

Let me break it down Coles Notes style for ya. As you all know, the oil (which I love) is made from the coconut meat. The water/juice is simply just the watery fluid inside a fresh coconut. Hmmmmm who knew?
Oh, also the word “coco” means “monkey face” in Spanish and Portugese…you know how a coconut looks like a monkey face? I thought it was just me. And the “nut” part is sorta incorrect since the coconut is technically classified as a drupe (a fleshy fruit w/ a single stone-like seed in the middle) and NOT a seed. From now on, I will be correctly referring to coconuts as “Coooo-drupes” and nobody can stop me. I might even make a song out of it.

Cooooo-drupe juice is very, very awesome! It is superior to sports drinks not only because it doesn’t have added sugar or artificial coloring, but it’s also a natural isotonic beverage (same as our blood). It’s naturally sterile and has been used in place of saline IVs in 3rd world countries. I want a coconut IV!! One thing I don’t know too much about is the pasteurization process (I get it in cans, not the actual coconuts), but I’ve been adding it in my pre-workout shakes.
Yeah, but don’t expect anyone who works at Walmart to know where they keep their coconut juice. Maybe the weekend help doesn’t know anything. Maybe they are community service workers…Hey, we’ve all been there. Anyways, they had me going all over the place until I said eneough is enough!!! then I did a roundhouse and knocked down a whole shelf of Lucky Charms! Mmmmm…Lucky Charms!