Yesterday was one of those days where I think I had seriously lost my mind. A crazy and long day. I feel like Goldie Hawn on Overboard when she is sitting back in that chair and staring into space with all those kids who have driven her insane and she was like, "buh buh buhbuh bubba." I was actually doing that. That’s me.
Ok, funny story. Let me re-phrase that…Here’s a story that I thought was funny.
Alright, I was at the pool yesterday too. Now, I’ve mentioned before how I like to "kill two birds with one stone." So, I figured I’d sit in the hottub afterwards and stretch, while I have this conditioning oil in my hair, supposed to protect it, so, there you have it..two birds, one stone. This oil is very pungent; I can’t even describe the smell. I mean, I’ve gotten used to it. Ok, so I put the stuff in my hair, get into the Hottub. There were like 8 people in there. It didn’t even occur to me how horrible it would smell to the people in there. So I’m sitting there and all these people have all these different conversations going on. All of a sudden, there are a few seconds of silence and this lady was like, "What is that SMELL!?"
Well, I was gonna say something, but before I could, this other guy was like, "OMG I smell it, too! What is that? It’s terrible!" Then another guy: "You know, I’ve been smelling that for a half hour in here now. I think they’re trying to get us to stop coming in the hottub" Oh, now come on….now that guy’s just being a big ole drama queen. It was my first time in there with it in. So I’m sitting there and covering my face with my towel acting like I’m wiping sweat because I was laughing. Then this lady goes, "Well it didn’t smell when we first came in here." haha! So, then that meant I had to wait until all of them left before I left because otherwise they’d all get a whiff of it when I passed by them. Then this guy said, "Well I’m gonna say something to the front desk. They’re gonna ask me what it smells like and I’m gonna say ‘it smells like a big bucket of @$$hole!!’" And that’s when I just about lost it. So GREAT.....Now every time I think of this oil in my hair I am going to think about it like that.
So everyone left, then I got out and walk into the locker room. I wasn’t even thinking that my hair still smelled…it’s like I had forgotten what had just happened like 3 minutes before. I walk in, and low and behold…out of all the thousand lockers in there, whose big fat locker was directly right beside mine? That lady who was in the hottub. I had already walked halfway to her before I realized, "dang it, she’s gonna smell it again and know it’s me and wonder why I didn’t say anything in the hottub." It was too late. Damage was already done. So, I did what anyone else would do. I pinched my nose, gave her an awful look and was like, "phew…geez, do you smell that?" Then when she was in the shower, I drizzled a little of that oil in her bag just to make her think it was her all along. haha…Ok, I didn’t really do that, but I should have. Hindsight is 20/20
Last night I did Yoga. …the first time in a while. Yeah, that was not my proudest moment. I had to cheat a lot in order to get through it though here and there. I’m sneaky like that.
So I do my YOGA, but not by choice. If it were up to me, I’d be a complete weightlifting/running psycho like usual. Wasn’t up to me, though. Stupid schedule. But this P90X and people and their stinkin peer pressure. All the cool people are doing it...that's all I hear....Yoga this. Yoga that.Ok, funny story. Let me re-phrase that…Here’s a story that I thought was funny.
Alright, I was at the pool yesterday too. Now, I’ve mentioned before how I like to "kill two birds with one stone." So, I figured I’d sit in the hottub afterwards and stretch, while I have this conditioning oil in my hair, supposed to protect it, so, there you have it..two birds, one stone. This oil is very pungent; I can’t even describe the smell. I mean, I’ve gotten used to it. Ok, so I put the stuff in my hair, get into the Hottub. There were like 8 people in there. It didn’t even occur to me how horrible it would smell to the people in there. So I’m sitting there and all these people have all these different conversations going on. All of a sudden, there are a few seconds of silence and this lady was like, "What is that SMELL!?"
Well, I was gonna say something, but before I could, this other guy was like, "OMG I smell it, too! What is that? It’s terrible!" Then another guy: "You know, I’ve been smelling that for a half hour in here now. I think they’re trying to get us to stop coming in the hottub" Oh, now come on….now that guy’s just being a big ole drama queen. It was my first time in there with it in. So I’m sitting there and covering my face with my towel acting like I’m wiping sweat because I was laughing. Then this lady goes, "Well it didn’t smell when we first came in here." haha! So, then that meant I had to wait until all of them left before I left because otherwise they’d all get a whiff of it when I passed by them. Then this guy said, "Well I’m gonna say something to the front desk. They’re gonna ask me what it smells like and I’m gonna say ‘it smells like a big bucket of @$$hole!!’" And that’s when I just about lost it. So GREAT.....Now every time I think of this oil in my hair I am going to think about it like that.
So everyone left, then I got out and walk into the locker room. I wasn’t even thinking that my hair still smelled…it’s like I had forgotten what had just happened like 3 minutes before. I walk in, and low and behold…out of all the thousand lockers in there, whose big fat locker was directly right beside mine? That lady who was in the hottub. I had already walked halfway to her before I realized, "dang it, she’s gonna smell it again and know it’s me and wonder why I didn’t say anything in the hottub." It was too late. Damage was already done. So, I did what anyone else would do. I pinched my nose, gave her an awful look and was like, "phew…geez, do you smell that?" Then when she was in the shower, I drizzled a little of that oil in her bag just to make her think it was her all along. haha…Ok, I didn’t really do that, but I should have. Hindsight is 20/20
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